


I Have The Power of God and Anime on My Side

by orphan_account



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, So here we are, but i love my kuroyaku crackhead children, e is for explicit proceed with caution but im fairly certain ive written worse, mmmmmmm this was originally gonna be a halloween fic, nos this ones for you bab
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-30
Updated: 2019-10-30
Packaged: 2021-01-13 23:07:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21242738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Yaku really just wanted some fucking Halloween decorations.





	I Have The Power of God and Anime on My Side

**Author's Note:**

  * For [acidulication](https://archiveofourown.org/users/acidulication/gifts).

> HAPPY BIRTHDAY NOS I REALLY HOPE YOU LIKE THIS OKAY AAAAAAAAAAA 🎊🎉🎊🎉🎊🎉🎊🎉🎊🎂🎂🎂

Yaku walked into the store and stopped short. Kai hadn’t been kidding when he said that this place was the spirit of Halloween. There were spider webs -  _ were those real?!  _ \- and jack o’ lanterns everywhere. The shelves were full of jars and skulls and every decoration or Halloween themed thing you could possibly think of. Little bottles of “potion” were lined up neatly on a wall shelf, and Yaku walked past, dragging his fingertip just past the labels.  _ Ha, Love potion _ , he thought,  _ they’ve gone all out _ . 

“Hello. Can I help you find something or are you just here to break things?” 

Yaku flinched and yanked his hand away from the bottles, quickly tucking it back into his pocket. He turned and faced the owner of the voice, someone with bleach blond hair that was clearly fading. “Ah, no, sorry. I’m looking for Halloween-”

“All Hallow’s Eve,” they corrected, voice sharp. 

“Yes, All Hallow’s Eve, I’m here for decorations and my friend told me to come here.”

They twisted their mouth into a pout, and then tapped their foot, crossed their arms and shrugged. “Anything specific?”

Yaku shrugged. “I’m a big fan of cats and small trinkets. I’m Yaku Morisuke, by the way.”

“Kenma. I don’t do trinkets. I have a cat you can take, free of charge under the condition that you name it here and never bring it back.”

Yaku raised his eyebrows. “You’ll just let me have it?”

Kenma looked him up and down with a critical eye. “You need it more than I do.”

Yaku clicked his tongue. That was rude, he thought. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

Kenma shrugged. “The cat is a dispelling charm, for loneliness. You look lonely.”

Yaku huffed. He  _ was _ lonely, but that was besides the point. “Whatever, just give me the damn cat.”

Kenma turned and wove through the shelves with Yaku at their heels, until they reached a shelf with little statue animals. Kenma stared for a second and plucked a rather odd, lanky looking cat statue off the middle shelf from the back. 

Before they handed the statue to Yaku, they twisted their thin fingers around it. “You have to name it for the charm to work. Have you picked a name?” 

Yaku nodded, he was just going to pluck some dumb name like Muffin out of thin air, but when Kenma placed the weird little cat in his hand, a name immediately popped into his head. “Kuroo. His name is Kuroo,” he whispered, before he could stop himself. 

Kenma nodded. “Good. Take him everywhere with you for the next two weeks, and then leave him alone in your home for exactly 3 hours the night before All Hallow’s Eve. And don’t bring him back. He’s too much trouble for me.”

Yaku nodded dumbly, still staring down at the little statue, Kuroo, cradled in his palm. He barely noticed Kenma shoving him out the door with a grunt. As Yaku finally managed to pull his attention away from Kuroo, tucking him into his pocket and wrapping his fingers around it, he had the distinct feeling Kenma had just swindled him. 

  
  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~All Hallow’s Eve, 11:59pm~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yaku paced outside of his apartment door, griping to himself in his head, debating whether he should’ve actually listened to Kenma or not, and checking his watch every few seconds. 

“What do you expect to happen, Mori? You walk into your apartment and some hot dude with cat ears is gonna be stretched out on your couch? As if! It’s a stupid statue that you went and attached yourself to-” he checked his watch, 12 seconds “-and when you open the door, he’s still gonna be that dumb, cute little statue, grinning up at you from the coffee table from exactly where you left him.” he checked his watch again and sucked in a breath -12:00am- and flung his front door open. 

Stepping over the threshold gave him a certain sense of  _ something different _ that blasted through him so strongly that he gasped out loud. “Holy fuck, maybe something did change,” he murmured, kicking off his shoes and tip-toeing across the floor. 

Pausing just before he rounded the corner to the living room, he took a deep breath, clenched his fists and charged out, only for his foot to slip out from under him and with a loud “FUCK!” he slipped and fell right on his ass, knocking the wind out of his lungs in a rough “oof.” 

He laid on the floor and stared at the ceiling while his ass screamed with pain. Quite suddenly, he heard a chuckle come from the direction of the couch. He would’ve jumped and been ready to fight, but something about that chuckle felt familiar, and also, his ass hadn’t hurt this much since the first time he’d bottomed with his ex. 

“I’m gonna assume you didn’t mean to eat ass on your hardwood floor?” came the voice, -finally, his brain supplied- smooth and deep, full of amusement. 

“Not really, no. The plan was to get a look at you before you could get a look at me. Are you hot, or are you here to kill me?” he sighed, sitting up with a wince. 

“Well, I’m not here to kill you, and I think I’m pretty attractive. You’re pretty cute, too, and you’ve got a nice ass.” 

Yaku snorted and pushed himself to his feet. “Gee thanks. Alright, now that you’ve had your fun…” he trailed off, having looked up at his couch. “Oh,” came slipping out his mouth as he stared at the guy leaning over the back of his couch. 

He  _ was _ attractive, long limbs and sharp features framed by a mess of black hair that defied the laws of physics. He stood, grinning down at Yaku, who swallowed as he tilted his head back. That grin was the same, as were the lanky limbs and golden eyes. 

“Why do I have the lingering feeling that Kenma swindled me?”

That head was thrown back, exposing a long, tan throat that Yaku had the desperate desire to sink his teeth into. The laugh that followed the line of his throat was absolutely - _ awful _ . Who laughs like that?! It was a cackle more than a laugh, and evoked an image of hyenas in Yaku’s head.  _ And yet _ . That awful laugh sparked something in Yaku, and his feet moved themselves, until he was standing in front of the man, who stopped laughing and stared down at Yaku. 

Yaku reached out and touched his fingertips to the man’s chest, slowly pressing his whole hand into the soft shirt, just over his heart. “Kuroo?”

A hum of affirmation came from that long neck, and Kuroo’s - _ Kuroo! _ \- long fingers wrapped around Yaku’s wrist, fingers almost overlapping. “It’s Tetsurou, actually, but Kuroo is cute.” 

Yaku nodded, pulled his hand back, and then shoved both hands into Kuroo’s chest, pushing him down onto his soft cloth couch. Kuroo snorted, and Yaku choked a yelp in his throat when Kuroo wrapped his hands around his hips and  _ pulled _ him down into his lap. 

Kuroo’s breath is in his ear and Yaku can’t help the slip of a gasp that comes out. “You know,” he purred, “you sound awfully pretty when you moan. I think I’d like to taste that for myself. Hear it up close and personal.” 

Yaku snapped his head back and placed his hand just under Kuroo’s throat, fingers pressing into the curves of his collarbones. “And how would you know what I sound like,  _ Tetsurou _ ?” 

A soft noise comes from Kuroo, the vibration of it skittering across Yaku’s fingers. His head tilts a little. “You really listened to Kenma when they told you to take me  _ everywhere _ , didn’t you?”

Yaku closed his eyes. He can now, quite vividly, recall leaving Kuroo sitting on his nightstand and… getting busy later on that night. “You were sentient this whole time?” he whispered, tilting his head forward and knocking his forehead into Kuroo’s. 

Kuroo smirked and Yaku had the intense urge to kiss it off his face. Or maybe slap it. “Yeah, and I repeat: I’d really like to taste one of those moans for myself.”

Yaku sighed, a long-suffering type of sigh. “I’m sure you’d like to, but you’d have to earn it, wouldn’t you?” 

Kuroo’s smirk got sharper, more predatory, and Yaku could’ve sworn he saw a flash of canines. “Oh, would I?” 

Yaku hummed, pressing his other hand into Kuroo’s neck, curving his fingers into the muscle. “I think so, yes.” 

Kuroo leaned forward, his nose brushing against Yaku’s throat. “I think I could do that.” 

Yaku laughed, tilting his head back further. “Oh, do you? I don’t think you could.” 

Kuroo’s lips touched his pulse point and he twitched. “I think I could, honey.” 

“Oh, honey? Cute, aren’t you?”

Kuroo’s lips parted on Yaku’s throat and his hands slid around his hips to his back. With a hum of “You’re the cute one, honey,” his tongue flicked out and gave a small lick to Yaku’s neck. 

Yaku twitched his hips forward, inching closer to Kuroo. “Gonna have to try a little harder than that, Tetsu.”

“What, like this?” Kuroo breathed out before suctioning his mouth to Yaku’s neck and  _ sucking _ .   
  


Yaku gasped, a whimper slipping as he rolled his head back, giving Kuroo more room. “Yeah, that’s closer.”

“Hm, what else do you like, honey?”

Yaku pushed his forehead against Kuroo’s. “I’d like it if you fucked me.”

Kuroo laughed that awful laugh and Yaku smacked his palm against Kuroo’s chest. “Oh, honey, and to think I had you marked as a top.”

“Oh shut up. I’ll be right back.” he slipped out of Kuroo’s arms and walked down the hall to his room, pulling the lube and a condom out of a drawer. 

He came back and Kuroo’s pants were off, and he was lazily stroking himself, head leaned back and golden eyes watching Yaku come down the hall towards him. 

Yaku stopped just inside the living room and tilted his head. “I don’t remember saying you could touch yourself.”

“What, was I supposed to sit here hard as a rock and wait for you?”

“Hm, yeah. You were,” Yaku said, voice harsh and filling the room. 

Kuroo’s hand paused, and then slowly moved away. “So you like to be in charge?”

“Like to be? No, darling, I  _ am _ in charge. Hands off and on the back of the couch.”

“Oh c’mon, aren’t you gonna let me touch you?” Kuroo whined.

Yaku stepped up and settled himself back onto Kuroo’s lap, locking his knees in place around Kuroo’s hips. “Not unless you earn it, and at the rate you’re going? You probably won’t.” 

He flipped the cap on the lube and spread some on his fingers. With a soft grunt, he pushed a finger inside himself, and moved it around for a moment, the other hand braced on Kuroo’s broad chest.  _ Nice muscles, _ Yaku thought, and pushed another finger in.  _ I bet he could pin me to a wall and hold me there while he fucks me. _

Kuroo made a soft sound and Yaku glanced up at him, raising his eyebrows at the dark look in Kuroo’s eyes, and the way his sharp teeth dug into his lip. He was being, admittedly, very well-behaved, so Yaku gave a gasp as he pushed a third finger in, and said, “You can touch me.”

Immediately Kuroo’s hands were pulling at Yaku’s fingers in his ass, and managed somehow to get them out. “Let me do it, honey, my fingers are longer,” he murmured. 

Kuroo’s fingers replaced his own and Yaku  _ whined _ , again. “Tetsu, fuck!”

“I know, honey,” came the response, with a third finger and a twist, striking a spot that made him cry out. 

After several torturous minutes -that felt like hours- Kuroo pulled his fingers out and tapped at Yaku’s hip. “Can I fuck you now?”

Yaku sucked in a breath and handed him the condom. “Yeah, you can fuck me now.”

Kuroo rolled the condom on and then spilled some lube over himself, and then with his hands on Yaku’s hips, lined up and pushed into Yaku. 

They both groaned, leaning forward and knocking their foreheads together. “Shit, honey, you’re so tight.”

Yaku dug his nails into Kuroo’s chest viciously. “Don’t you dare move, Tetsu.”

Kuroo groaned. “How can I not when you call me that, fuck’s sake, honey.”

“Don’t.” Yaku said, voice clear and biting.

Kuroo hissed, and then Yaku tilted his head  _ just so _ and their lips met, open and wet, absolutely searing. 

Kuroo sighed into Yaku’s mouth, and his tongue chased the sigh into Yaku’s mouth. They kissed almost too softly for a long moment, until Yaku moved, a shift of his hips, and Kuroo pulled back, groaning loudly. 

“Please, can I fuck you, honey?”

“Call me Mori.”

“Mori,”  _ fuck that’s not fair, _ Yaku thought, the sound of his name rolling off Kuroo’s tongue sending a shockwave straight down his spine, “Mori, honey, let me fuck you, please.”

Yaku nodded, relaxing his fingers. “Fuck me hard, Tetsu.”

Kuroo complied, immediately starting rough thrusts into Yaku, each thrust punctuated with a kiss, a bite, or a whisper of his name. 

Yaku gasped, and began meeting Kuroo thrust for thrust, and then the pressure started building up too much. “Fuck, Tetsu, touch me, touch me.”

Kuroo wrapped a warm hand around Yaku’s dick, and with a few strokes, he was coming all over himself and Kuroo, and Kuroo was coming shortly after, with a sharp bite to Yaku’s shoulder. 

Yaku leaned his head against Kuroo’s neck, and couldn’t bring himself to care that Kuroo was licking over the harsh bite he’d left. “There better not be blood, Tetsu.”

“Mmm, no blood here. Just a very large, very red mark.”

Yaku sighed, absolutely exasperated. A thought came to him. “Tetsu?”

“Yes, honey?” Kuroo was still licking over the bite mark, placing the occasional kiss there as well.

“What happens after today? Do you turn back into a statue? Or do you stay?”

Kuroo shrugged. “Dunno. The terms of my curse aren’t very clear.”

Yaku cleared his throat, trying to ignore the flush in his face. “I, uh. I hope you stay. I’d like to spend a bit more time with you, I think. Really get to know you.”

Kuroo chuckled, and slid his arms under Yaku’s thighs, lifting him up. “I’m sure we can find a way for me to stay here, honey. I’d like to get to know you, too.”

Yaku sighed, wrapping his arms tight around Kuroo’s neck. “Alright. I’d like to not have lube dripping out of my ass now, so start a bath. Please.”

“Please? Is this character development alre-Ow!” Yaku sunk his teeth into Kuroo’s shoulder to get him to shut up, making him yelp. “I oughta drop you right now.”

“You wouldn’t dare,” Yaku said, and was proven right when Kuroo’s arms tightened around his thighs and back. 

“Yeah, yeah,” he muttered, kicking the bathroom door open. 

Still holding Yaku tight against him, Kuroo kneeled next to the bathtub and started the water, one hand leaving Yaku to test the temperature. 

Once the bath was filled, Kuroo stepped in,  _ still _ holding Yaku, who had long since dozed off. The water knocked him out of his daze just enough to register Kuroo running soap across his body and moving him around as needed.

“Gonna ask Kenma how to keep you around this afternoon,” he murmured and collapsed into Kuroo’s chest with a sigh.

Just before he fell asleep he heard Kuroo say, “Hey, honey, don’t fall asleep in the bath.”

~~~~~~~Halloween Afternoon~~~~~~~~

“Hey, Kenma, can I ask you a question?” Yaku said, leaning against the counter. 

Kenma sighed, and glanced up from their book. “What do you want?”

“How do I keep Kuroo around?”

Kenma raised an eyebrow. “Did you kiss him?”

Yaku flushed immediately. “What the fuck, Kenma?!”

Kenma’s eyebrow remained raised. 

Yaku sighed and scrubbed his face. “Yeah, I kissed him.”

Kenma shrugged. “Then you’re stuck with him. True love’s kiss breaks the spell and all that jazz.”

Yaku choked. “True love’s  _ what _ ?!”

“You heard me. Sort it out yourself, I have other customers. Go back to Kuroo.”

Yaku slammed his palm on the counter, scowling, but a sharp glance from Kenma had him huffing and walking out of the store. 

_True love’s kiss, huh?_ _I guess we’ll find out for sure tomorrow,_ he thought.

He made it back to his apartment and opened the door to a warm smell, and a cheerful, “Welcome home, Mori!”

He smiled a little to himself as he kicked off his shoes.  _ Maybe it’s not that outlandish _ . 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> alright this came to me after i bought a janky lookin’ cat statue of my own at big lots for $5 and his name is now Kuroo because he’s ugly and i love him  
hope you enjoyed it aaaa  
xoxo <3 kitten


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